My balls are so social today.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
