my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize