I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
