I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
