Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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