just tell him i said nine months
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
