I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
