from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
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Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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