you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
