Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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