Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
