the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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