No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
