i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize