Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
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You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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