When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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