He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
