Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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