I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
