He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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