I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
