Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
