cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
