Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.

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  (203): No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket. http://tfl.nu/3z5u
  Replies (31) Good night (826) Bad night (2448)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.

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  (504): Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex. http://tfl.nu/adpf
  Replies (157) Good night (31901) Bad night (1392)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  maybe i'll see you again later :)

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd rather shit a knife.

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  (612): maybe i'll see you again later :) (774): I'd rather shit a knife. http://tfl.nu/qge0
  Replies (50) Good night (1972) Bad night (11100)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  We're doing a case race on Saturday.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"

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  (301): We're doing a case race on Saturday. (302): I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/1jnr
  Replies (5) Good night (4015) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.

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  (610): She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling. http://tfl.nu/koe0
  Replies (8) Good night (916) Bad night (2417)
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  (661): View more from California

  I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight

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  (661): I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight http://tfl.nu/99ir
  Replies (11) Good night (2789) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future

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  (908): Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future http://tfl.nu/p1r4
  Replies (5) Good night (2180) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro

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  (530): so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro http://tfl.nu/frkc
  Replies (5) Good night (1758) Bad night (803)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!

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  (479): I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning! http://tfl.nu/musz
  Replies (12) Good night (1599) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains

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  (919): the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains http://tfl.nu/cfm9
  Replies (5) Good night (414) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.

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  (210): I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob. http://tfl.nu/g13n
  Replies (7) Good night (1037) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom

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  (802): I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom http://tfl.nu/99fe
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (338)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ok thanks goodnight

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person

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  (905): ok thanks goodnight (905): Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person http://tfl.nu/fu6q
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."

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  (425): I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those." http://tfl.nu/wwy7
  Replies (1) Good night (984) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud

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  (+44): My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud http://tfl.nu/dffg
  Replies (2) Good night (221) Bad night (535)

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