Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior

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(608): Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior http://tfl.nu/44hw

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(919): View more from North Carolina

DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

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(919): DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages. http://tfl.nu/6cym

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(512): View more from Texas

The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

(319): View more from Iowa

Yes. For all mankind please do.

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(512): The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? (319): Yes. For all mankind please do. http://tfl.nu/4jly

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.

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(505): I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them. http://tfl.nu/0g2b

Replies (42) Good night (1036) Bad night (2291)
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(210): View more from Texas

I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"

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(210): I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV" http://tfl.nu/w3he

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(404): View more from Georgia

Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.

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(404): Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle. http://tfl.nu/2aue

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car

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(401): yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car http://tfl.nu/wwsk

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

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(610): He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1 http://tfl.nu/y50i

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(954): View more from Florida

so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral

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(954): so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral http://tfl.nu/k9rx

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(678): View more from Georgia

Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.

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(678): Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college. http://tfl.nu/311k

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Are you alive?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.

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(204): Are you alive? (1-204): I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all. http://tfl.nu/y639

Replies (4) Good night (1401) Bad night (597)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.

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(604): It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good. http://tfl.nu/yhf8

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(785): View more from Kansas

I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.

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(785): I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me. http://tfl.nu/wjzj

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(419): View more from Ohio

Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.

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(419): Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies. http://tfl.nu/geoh

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(919): View more from North Carolina

We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.

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(919): We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible. http://tfl.nu/ny7k

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