it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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