Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I don't usually arrange sex via text message

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  (216): I don't usually arrange sex via text message http://tfl.nu/akrs
  Replies (8) Good night (1299) Bad night (563)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am

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  (757): if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am http://tfl.nu/cj17
  Replies (24) Good night (4138) Bad night (647)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her

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  (312): She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her http://tfl.nu/ua6n
  Replies (13) Good night (802) Bad night (5663)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

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  (206): You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack.. http://tfl.nu/nf69
  Replies (61) Good night (17955) Bad night (1226)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick

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  (254): oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick http://tfl.nu/vqpx
  Replies (13) Good night (3527) Bad night (1101)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...

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  (906): He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me... http://tfl.nu/pc0c
  Replies (21) Good night (2335) Bad night (3860)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.

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  (314): She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now. http://tfl.nu/r0t6
  Replies (13) Good night (2863) Bad night (917)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.

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  (519): This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun. http://tfl.nu/wpnv
  Replies (3) Good night (2321) Bad night (977)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?

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  (715): you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question? http://tfl.nu/kzcn
  Replies (11) Good night (1340) Bad night (803)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.

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  (916): I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me. http://tfl.nu/xyna
  Replies (7) Good night (3747) Bad night (708)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  "It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  You have found the Promised Land of friend zones

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  (901): "It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome. (1-901): You have found the Promised Land of friend zones http://tfl.nu/0f4w
  Replies (3) Good night (1284) Bad night (725)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.

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  (336): I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand. http://tfl.nu/v7rz
  Replies (4) Good night (901) Bad night (352)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it

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  (571): My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it http://tfl.nu/xr2p
  Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (577)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.

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  (410): I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy. http://tfl.nu/szc1
  Replies (6) Good night (306) Bad night (525)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.

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  (501): Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay. http://tfl.nu/a936
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (461)

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