Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.

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(412): I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes. http://tfl.nu/yyns

Replies (107) Good night (3379) Bad night (947)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at

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(732): I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at http://tfl.nu/9oei

Replies (20) Good night (4786) Bad night (655)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen

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(860): I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen http://tfl.nu/pyhr

Replies (59) Good night (6890) Bad night (1581)
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(310): View more from California

i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son

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(310): i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son http://tfl.nu/uvhv

Replies (19) Good night (997) Bad night (4337)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.

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(610): There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here. http://tfl.nu/6w86

Replies (30) Good night (1573) Bad night (13188)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.

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(770): I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon. http://tfl.nu/qalv

Replies (14) Good night (986) Bad night (4433)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.

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(660): I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better. http://tfl.nu/xn35

Replies (45) Good night (4513) Bad night (1431)
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(650): View more from California

so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.

(1-650): View more from California

did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?

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(650): so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet. (1-650): did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one? http://tfl.nu/1hzw

Replies (24) Good night (8374) Bad night (1161)
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(913): View more from Kansas

He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.

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(913): He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka. http://tfl.nu/p6nb

Replies (7) Good night (5762) Bad night (1275)
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(574): View more from Indiana

can anyone on this campus do anything sober?

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(574): can anyone on this campus do anything sober? http://tfl.nu/gpdm

Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (812)
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(281): View more from Texas

Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.

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(281): Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy. http://tfl.nu/smj8

Replies (2) Good night (458) Bad night (732)
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(512): View more from Texas

The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.

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(512): The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting. http://tfl.nu/6bg7

Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (338)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.

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(989): I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair. http://tfl.nu/f3z5

Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (369)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media

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(785): I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media http://tfl.nu/zoh7

Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (325)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.

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(630): I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable. http://tfl.nu/rmza

Replies (3) Good night (290) Bad night (269)

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