i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE