Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
