I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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