WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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