so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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