I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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