he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
not ubering you a puppy
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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