Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
