Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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