Having a random hookup so left but love u
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
