once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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