There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
