Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook

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(630): View more from Illinois

I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude

Fav 20 7605 1348
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(631): View more from New York

beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.

Fav 12 3624 2184
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(567): View more from Ohio

i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets

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(540): View more from Virginia

The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth

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(989): View more from Michigan

Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?

Fav 5 1471 1006
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.

Fav 1 213 162
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.

Fav 0 14 24
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