dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize