I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
