You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.