dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???