Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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