What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
