Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
