So drunk its hurt
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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