That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you win again, gameday.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
