you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Bring me that man meat
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
