discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
