please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
