so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i think i just lost a toe
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
