I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
