They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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