im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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