I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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