remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
