I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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