the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize