The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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