How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
