i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
this is an emotional support booty call
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
