YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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