WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
