How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
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she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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