remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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