I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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