i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
