I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
